choose to be happy

A popular greeting card attributes this quote to Henry David Thoreau: "Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder."



With all due respect to the author of Walden, that just isn't so, according to a growing number of psychologists. You can choose to be happy, they say. You can chase down that elusive butterfly and get it to sit on your shoulder. How? In part, by simply making the effort to monitor the workings of your mind.



Research has shown that your talent for happiness is, to a large degree, determined by your genes. Psychology professor David T. Lykken, author of Happiness: Its Nature and Nurture, says that "trying to be happier is like trying to be taller." We each have a "happiness set point," he argues, and move away from it only slightly.



And yet, psychologists who study happiness -- including Lykken -- believe we can pursue happiness. We can do this by thwarting negative emotions such as pessimism, resentment, and anger. And we can foster positive emotions, such as empathy, serenity, and especially gratitude.



Happiness Strategy # 1: Don't Worry, Choose Happy



The first step, however, is to make a conscious choice to boost your happiness. In his book, The Conquest of Happiness, published in 1930, the philosopher Bertrand Russell had this to say: "Happiness is not, except in very rare cases, something that drops into the mouth, like a ripe fruit. ... Happiness must be, for most men and women, an achievement rather than a gift of the gods, and in this achievement, effort, both inward and outward, must play a great part."



Today, psychologists who study happiness heartily agree. The intention to be happy is the first of The 9 Choices of Happy People listed by authors Rick Foster and Greg Hicks in their book of the same name.



"Intention is the active desire and commitment to be happy," they write. "It's the decision to consciously choose attitudes and behaviors that lead to happiness over unhappiness."



Tom G. Stevens, PhD, titled his book with the bold assertion, You Can Choose to Be Happy. "Choose to make happiness a top goal," Stevens tells WebMD. "Choose to take advantage of opportunities to learn how to be happy. For example, reprogram your beliefs and values. Learn good self-management skills, good interpersonal skills, and good career-related skills. Choose to be in environments and around people that increase your probability of happiness. The persons who become the happiest and grow the most are those who also make truth and their own personal growth primary values."



In short, we may be born with a happiness "set point," as Lykken calls it, but we are not stuck there. Happiness also depends on how we manage our emotions and our relationships with others.



Jon Haidt, author of The Happiness Hypothesis, teaches positive psychology. He actually assigns his students to make themselves happier during the semester.



"They have to say exactly what technique they will use," says Haidt, a professor at the University of Virginia, in Charlottesville. "They may choose to be more forgiving or more grateful. They may learn to identify negative thoughts so they can challenge them. For example, when someone crosses you, in your mind you build a case against that person, but that's very damaging to relationships. So they may learn to shut up their inner lawyer and stop building these cases against people."



Once you've decided to be happier, you can choose strategies for achieving happiness. Psychologists who study happiness tend to agree on ones like these.



Happiness Strategy #2: Cultivate Gratitude



In his book, Authentic Happiness, University of Pennsylvania psychologist Martin Seligman encourages readers to perform a daily "gratitude exercise." It involves listing a few things that make them grateful. This shifts people away from bitterness and despair, he says, and promotes happiness.



Happiness Strategy #3: Foster Forgiveness



Holding a grudge and nursing grievances can affect physical as well as mental health, according to a rapidly growing body of research. One way to curtail these kinds of feelings is to foster forgiveness. This reduces the power of bad events to create bitterness and resentment, say Michael McCullough and Robert Emmons, happiness researchers who edited The Psychology of Happiness.



In his book, Five Steps to Forgiveness, clinical psychologist Everett Worthington Jr. offers a 5-step process he calls REACH. First, recall the hurt. Then empathize and try to understand the act from the perpetrator's point of view. Be altruistic by recalling a time in your life when you were forgiven. Commit to putting your forgiveness into words. You can do this either in a letter to the person you're forgiving or in your journal. Finally, try to hold on to the forgiveness. Don't dwell on your anger, hurt, and desire for vengeance.



The alternative to forgiveness is mulling over a transgression. This is a form of chronic stress, says Worthington.



"Rumination is the mental health bad boy," Worthington tells WebMD. "It's associated with almost everything bad in the mental health field -- obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, anxiety -- probably hives, too."



A popular card attributes this quote to Henry David Thoreau: "Happiness is sort of a butterfly: the additional you chase it, the additional it'll elude you, however if you switch your attention to alternative things, it'll return and sit softly on your shoulder."



With all due relevancy the author of Walden, that simply is not thus, per a growing range of psychologists. you'll be able to opt to be happy, they say. you'll be able to chase down that elusive butterfly and obtain it to sit down on your shoulder. How? partly, by merely creating the trouble to watch the workings of your mind.



Research has shown that your talent for happiness is, to an oversized degree, determined by your genes. science academic David T. Lykken, author of Happiness: Its Nature and Nurture, says that "trying to be happier is like attempting to be taller." we have a tendency to every have a "happiness point," he argues, and move removed from it solely slightly.



And yet, psychologists World Health Organization study happiness -- as well as Lykken -- believe we are able to pursue happiness. we are able to do that by thwarting negative emotions like pessimism, resentment, and anger. and that we will foster positive emotions, like fellow feeling, serenity, and particularly feeling.



Happiness Strategy # 1: don't be concerned, opt for Happy



The first step, however, is to create a aware option to boost your happiness. In his book, The Conquest of Happiness, printed in 1930, the thinker logician had this to say: "Happiness isn't, except in terribly rare cases, one thing that drops into the mouth, sort of a ripe fruit. ... Happiness should be, for many men and girls, associate action instead of a present of the gods, and during this action, effort, each inward and outward, should play an excellent half."



Today, psychologists World Health Organization study happiness cordially agree. The intention to be happy is that the initial of The nine decisions of Happy individuals listed by authors Rick Foster and Greg Hicks in their book of a similar name.



"Intention is that the active need and commitment to be happy," they write. "It's the choice to consciously opt for attitudes and behaviors that result in happiness over unhappiness."



Tom G. Stevens, PhD, titled his book with the daring assertion, you'll be able to opt to Be Happy. "Choose to create happiness a high goal," Stevens tells WebMD. "Choose to require advantage of opportunities to be told the way to be happy. as an example, reprogram your beliefs and values. Learn sensible self-management skills, sensible social skills, and sensible career-related skills. opt to be in environments and around folks that increase your chance of happiness. The persons World Health Organization become the happiest and grow the foremost area unit those that conjointly build truth and their own personal growth primary values."



In short, we have a tendency to is also born with a happiness "set purpose," as Lykken calls it, however we have a tendency to don't seem to be stuck there. Happiness conjointly depends on however we have a tendency to manage our emotions and our relationships with others.



Jon Haidt, author of The Happiness Hypothesis, teaches positive science. He truly assigns his students to create themselves happier throughout the semester.



"They ought to say precisely what technique they'll use," says Haidt, a academic at the University of Virginia, in Charlottesville. "They could {choose to|prefer to|like better to|value additional highly to|favor to|opt to} be additional forgiving or more grateful. they will learn to spot negative thoughts in order that they will challenge them. as an example, once somebody crosses you, in your mind you build a case against that person, however that is terribly damaging to relationships. in order that they could learn to shut up their inner professional and stop building these cases against individuals."



Once you have determined to be happier, you'll be able to opt for methods for achieving happiness. Psychologists World Health Organization study happiness tend to agree on ones like these.



Happiness Strategy #2: Cultivate feeling



In his book, Authentic Happiness, University of Pennsylvania scientist Martin Seligman encourages readers to perform a daily "gratitude exercise." It involves listing a couple of things that build them grateful. This shifts individuals removed from bitterness and despair, he says, and promotes happiness.



Happiness Strategy #3: Foster Forgiveness



Holding a grudge and nursing grievances will have an effect on physical still as mental state, per a chop-chop growing body of analysis. a method to curtail these sorts of feelings is to foster forgiveness. This reduces the ability of unhealthy events to form bitterness and ill will, say archangel McCullough and Henry M. Robert Emmons, happiness researchers World Health Organization emended The science of Happiness.



In his book, 5 Steps to Forgiveness, psychotherapist Everett Worthington son. offers a 5-step method he calls REACH. First, recall the hurt. Then sympathize and take a look at to grasp the act from the perpetrator's purpose of read. Be altruistic by recalling a time in your life after you were forgiven. arrange to golf stroke your forgiveness into words. you'll be able to do that either during a letter to the person you are forgiving or in your journal. Finally, attempt to hold on to the forgiveness. do not waffle your anger, hurt, and need for revenge.



The alternative to forgiveness is mulling over a transgression. this is often a type of chronic stress, says Worthington.



"Rumination is that the mental state unhealthy boy," Worthington tells WebMD. "It's related to virtually everything unhealthy within the mental state field -- neurotic disorder, depression, anxiety -- in all probability hives, too."



Happiness Strategy #4: Counteract Negative Thoughts and Feelings



As Jon Haidt puts it, improve your psychotherapeutics. within the Happiness Hypothesis, Haidt compares the mind to a person riding associate elephant. The elephant represents the powerful thoughts and feelings -- principally unconscious -- that drive your behavior. The man, though abundant weaker, will exert management over the elephant, even as you'll be able to exert management over negative thoughts and feelings.



"The key's a commitment to doing the items necessary to retrain the elephant," Haidt says. "And the proof suggests there is a heap you'll be able to do. It simply takes work."



For example, you'll be able to apply meditation, cadent respiratory, yoga, or relaxation techniques to quell anxiety and promote serenity. you'll be able to learn to acknowledge and challenge thoughts you've got regarding being inadequate and helpless.



"If you learn techniques for distinctive negative thoughts, then it's easier to challenge them," Haidt aforementioned. "Sometimes simply reading David Burns' book, Feeling sensible, will have a positive impact."



Happiness Strategy #5: bear in mind, cash cannot obtain Happiness



Research shows that when financial gain climbs on top of the poverty line, extra money brings little further happiness. Yet, "we keep presumptuous that as a result of things are not transfer US happiness, they are the incorrect things, instead of recognizing that the pursuit itself is futile," writes Daniel Gilbert in his book, lurching on Happiness. "Regardless of what we have a tendency to deliver the goods within the pursuit of stuff, it's ne'er about to bring on an everlasting state of happiness."



Happiness Strategy #6: Foster friendly relationship



There area unit few higher antidotes to unhappiness than shut friendships with those that care regarding you, says David G. Myers, author of The Pursuit of Happiness. One Australian study found that individuals over seventy World Health Organization had the strongest network of friends lived for much longer.



"Sadly, our progressively individualistic society suffers from impoverished social connections, that some psychologists believe could be a reason for today's epidemic levels of depression," Myers writes. "The social ties that bind conjointly give support in tough times."



Happiness Strategy #7: interact in substantive Activities



People area unit rarely happier, says scientist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, than once they are within the "flow." this is often a state during which your mind becomes totally absorbed during a substantive task that challenges your skills. Yet, he has found that the foremost common leisure activity -- observation TV -- produces a number of the bottom levels of happiness.



To get additional out of life, we'd like to place additional into it, says Csikszentmihalyi. "Active leisure that helps an individual grow doesn't return simply," he writes find Flow. "Each of the flow-producing activities needs associate initial investment of attention before it begins to be gratifying."



So it seems that happiness will be a matter of alternative -- not simply luck. Some individuals area unit lucky enough to possess genes that foster happiness. However, bound thought patterns associated social skills undoubtedly facilitate individuals become an "epicure of expertise," says David Lykken, whose name, in Norwegian, means that "the happiness."



Choosing To Be Happy

Strategies for Happiness: seven Steps to changing into a Happier Person

By Tom Valeo

WebMD Feature

Reviewed by Louise river, MD

http://www.webmd.com/balance/guide/choosing-to-be-happy
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WebMD Feature

Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

http://www.webmd.com/balance/guide/choosing-to-be-happy


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